The Bra-less Wonder

Recently, when asked to list my bust size on a clothing form, I filled in: “Depressed” 32 B

Bandeau Bra

Now those of you with beautiful, perky breasts un-touched by the spoils of breast-feeding or perhaps of gaining and losing, oh, say 35 pounds, have no clue what I’m talking about. When I say things like this about my chest, you, being the sweet friends that you are, will say, “you’re crazy, you have great boobs!” No really, you have no idea the amount of wire, padding and duct tape required to keep these puppies airborne. You also have no idea of the atrocities these two pull when they aren’t contained, or their disappearing act if I were to, say, lay on my back… I usually find them inside my armpit or thrown over my shoulder like a continental soldier. It’s sad, but true, and honestly, the more I’ve come to grips with the state of affairs, the less interested I am in wearing the contraptions necessary to fake my way back into my former glory.

So I set out on a mission to find a way to hold the girls in, without hoisting them up or causing me any unnecessary discomfort. After MONTHS or research, behold my favorite options for those who’d rather not wear a bra but don’t want to look like Drew Barrymore in that unfortunate Oscar moment from a few years back.

First of all, as odd as it sounds, my FAVORITE braless wonder is a tank top I got from Veronica M… I know, random, right? Veronica M has these tanks (not online, just laying around in their store) that are cotton blended with extra tight spandex. Not only does this thing hold in your girls, but it also holds in unsightly food babies from those tacos you had for lunch. At some point I need to go back in (God willing they haven’t discontinued these!) and buy 3 in every color. They’re that fantastic!

Seamless Tube

Now the mother load… Free People has a line of intimates that are going to blow your mind!! Not only do they come in every fabric from floral to neon yellow, but they have TWO different great options that I love. The Seamless Tube is both a shirt AND a bra and comes in a ton of great colors. I wear this all the time layered with a few other shirts or under an oversized sweater.

Then there’s the Bandeau Bra (see pic up above) that’s basically a rubber band for your breasts. Granted, neither of these options are going to be fantastic support if you actually have much to support. But, if like me, your boobs are the ghost of their former self, these are going to change your life!