Momfession: A Womanly Resolution

Dave and I are planning a trip to Hawaii next month (a long overdue getaway for the two of us) and I am reminded about the last time we were there. It was four years ago, my first baby was four months old and Grandma had agreed to watch him so I could meet Dave on the island where he was finishing up a conference. I was excited for the trip, anxious about leaving Jackson for the first time and even more so, insecure about the baby weight I was still carrying.

Baby Weight In Hawaii

As it turned out we had a lovely trip, but I was reminiscing about one night in particular when Dave and I went to a very fancy dinner at the very fancy hotel we were staying in. I still hadn’t really come into my own in terms of personal style, and I was supremely insecure about the 20 lbs of extra baby weight I was still carrying. I put on a cotton summer dress from Old Navy (far undressed for the place we were dining) and tried to dress it up with the one nice piece of jewelry I owned at the time… a gold chain necklace. I decided to knot the necklace to try and make it look “fancier” and we went to dinner.

The "Fancy" Necklace

While at the restaurant I noticed a family I’d seen by the pool all week was getting up to leave… a husband, a wife, and two twin daughters who were probably seven. I’d noticed them by the pool because all four of them were J. Crew-style beautiful, and they were clearly the type of family who enjoyed luxury like this often. As they walked by the table the woman smiled and said “What a fabulous necklace! You look so great tonight!” I was shocked, but thanked her and spent the rest of the night being so proud of my ability to pull an outfit together by knotting up a chain necklace. It wasn’t until I remembered this encounter the other day that I realized a couple of things. First of all, I realized I hadn’t really looked good enough for this incredibly gorgeous, totally stylish woman to take notice of me. What I’m guessing she did notice, was me, by the pool all week in my ill-fitting tankini feeling totally insecure surrounded by Dave’s co-workers and their gorgeous wives. She probably noticed from that tell-tell post baby pouch that I was a new mom. She probably noticed by my body language how insecure I was in that fancy restaurant. Then for no other reason than because she was nice… or maybe because she’d once been in my shoes, she gave me a compliment and made me feel beautiful.

I will never see this woman again, and I don’t know her name but I will never forget this kindness. All of us women know, we’re hardest on each other. We tend to be judgmental, or catty, or gossipy about what others are wearing, their hair, their life choices and this attitude doesn’t just hurt the ones we’re slinging comments at, it hurts us too. I believe that negativity can infect us like a cancer, can turn us into “mean girls” can make us feel more insecure about ourselves. Can you imagine what this society, or even this world would be like if women focused their energy on supporting each other instead of bringing each other down?

My #1 Girl, My Sister Melody

As we head into this new year, I’d like you to consider a resolution to add to you list. Consider going out of your way to support other women, be it your friends, your sisters, or total strangers. Consider the power of a few nice words, a random act of kindness or an encouraging note. Consider how this positive energy will fill up your soul as well as those women around you. Consider how this attitude will set an example for our daughters, and the way the next generation might interact with one another. Consider every woman around you a friend, or better yet, a sister and be the change you want to see in this world.